My Body My Issues

Nude Art Pose 2022

One of the main topics that I talk about revolve around body issues. Now I know I’m not the first person in the world to have issues with their body, but it is a topic I like to discuss so that others don’t feel like they’re alone.

My body has been bigger in terms of weight. In fact, I was considered to be a “big baby”. It’s that weight that has stuck with me for a very long time. 

Growing up I was know for my chubby cheeks (on my face before you have any other ideas), and my belly. I was called fatty, big boy and that was some of the nicer names that people would call me at school.

When it came to my family, my weight was used as a frame of reference for jokes and pointing out whether I was consuming the right amount of food. Especially in the Latinx (Lantino) community, food and weight go hand in hand. If you were too skinny, you needed to eat more. If you were seen as too fat, you needed to eat less. This somehow translated into a a less healthy understanding of self worth and making me feel like I was never ever able to be ideal body.

It became worse during high school as I went through what I like to call the “Oprah scrutiny syndrome” which I nicknamed because her weight was heavily discussed and often led to some nasty articles from tabloid magazines. I would be fat one minute, then skinny the next, then fat again.

There was also the added bonus of  puberty. It was during this time that I was developing body hair that was all over the place. However I was quite short compared to most people in my year group. I was also (in my opinion) short in the penis department and that was something that I felt a lot of shame because I didn’t feel like I was truly developing like some of my guy friends.

However, being a closet naturist at 13 made things a little bearable but not necessarily 100% perfect.

These issues left a scar in my mind that lead to a very unhealthy mindset in the beginning of my 20’s and making me more isolated with the world.

Part of the mindset was saying that no one would like me unless I had the “perfect body”. The other part was thinking that the world owed me one, which in hindsight I know that the world doesn’t owe me a thing.

Some of it was learned from what people said. Most of it was learned though a lot of what was being posted on the internet and the media, including images and messages of getting love and friends if you went on a specific diet and went to some exercise class. Unfortunately these messages are still rampant today but do not affect me as much as they annoy me.

At the end of the day and after many years of self reflection, therapy and meeting new people,  I am now able to say that I'm ok with the way that my body looks. It might not be everyone's ideal of the "perfect body" but it's my body and no one else's body. It's a message that has taken me to love my body and find the courage to pose for a online nude drawing class (see picture above), being able to find the courage to go exploring naturist places, and most importantly, feel at ease with myself.

My main takeaway message is this, our body is our own and no one else's. It is okay to feel different, no matter your shape, weight, gender identity, skin colour, sexual preferences and your "imperfections". 

HAVE YOU EVER FELT ISSUES ABOUT YOUR OWN BODY? PLEASE SHARE AND LETS MAKE THIS TYPE OF DISCUSSION NORMAL.

UNTIL NEXT TIME NAKED PEEPS.